The Wonderful World of Dating

February 2006

So it's back to good ol' Craigslist again. Don't know why I bother. My mom says I should go to match.com Cuz a paid dating site will probably have more professional men Who may be less likely to be weird and/or just looking for sex Yeah right Since when did making $60,000 a year rule a person out For being a psycho or an asshole? I dunno...maybe she's right Can't hurt to try it out... But what if the guys on match.com are as dumb as the ones on CL? Then I'll really be pissed Cuz I paid good money to go out with assholes. If a guy is gonna be an asshole, I'd much rather him pay to go out with me Okay, not all the guys I've dated were assholes or weirdos Some were just losers Or players Or unattractive Or had "issues" I'm pretty open-minded and accepting of people and their anomalies So when I say issues, I mean ish-yoos! Can't do it anymore The older I get, the more fine-tuned my bullshit detector gets And the less patience I have for other people's crap I mean, we all have baggage It's just a matter of deciding Whether or not you can deal with the brand of baggage somebody's lugging But I can no longer settle for relationships that don't meet my needs And I'm really not an overly needy person I just want a nice, reasonably attractive, intelligent guy With ambition and a great sense of humor Who has a car, a spot, a job and a life, Who's basically happy, over his ex, not a commitment-phobe And ready for whatever may happen between us Is that too much to ask? Yeah...... Maybe I need to give craigslist a break Maybe good things really do come to those who wait Problem with that is that I'm 35, not 25 Sad as it may sound I don't wanna run out of time That's why I post on Craigslist Trying to give the ball of destiny a little push But I can't get the fucker to move! C'mon ladies, get behind this bitch with me... 1..2..3.. Damn! Maybe I'll just get another cat